Listen, I’m not the guy to ask
about style, diamond quality or color. I’m just the guy to coach you on buying
the engagement ring. The only thing you’ve likely purchased that will be more
expensive than the ring is a car—and only if you’ve bought a nice car!
Two to Three
Months’ Salary: There is an old convention that a ring should cost two to three
months’ salary. It isn’t fair. It may be not necessary. It is absurd. But you
may be thinking you are bound by that standard. If you are early in your
career, you are likely earning around $3,500 per month, depending upon your
career. That would get you to a budget of $7,000 to $10,500. For your sake, I
hope you didn’t just finish your cardiac residency—three months of a cardiac
surgeon’s wage would get attention at Tiffany’s for sure.
To heck with
convention: While you should want your future spouse to recognize the symbol of
your love for her as a sacrifice, you may want to consider whether or not some
of the money you might spend on a ring could be better spent on the down
payment for a new home.
Don’t Borrow:
Nothing says I don’t really love you that much like borrowing the money for the
ring. If you marry a girl who discovers about the time of the wedding, that
along with her beautiful ring she has acquired a 50 percent interest in a
$10,000 loan to a jeweler (or a $10,000 balance on a credit card) you’ll lose
all the points you think you’ve won with the beautiful ring.
Shop Around:
Whatever you do, do not buy the center diamond for a ring with your
fiancé-to-be with you. You may look at styles and talk about tastes, but don’t
get out of a situation where you are negotiating the price in front of your
future wife. Nothing says “You don’t matter to me” like coming out of the
jewelry store in the middle of negotiations. Most jewelers have some flexibility.
Leave your girl at home, so that if you don’t find what you like at the price
you think is fair at one store, you can get up and walk away. You can always
come back and pay the asking price.
Diamond and
Ring May be Bought separately: If your future wife has a specific idea in mind
for what the ring should have a lot in common with, you may be locked in to
purchase the ring from that store. That said, if it has a larger center diamond
as many rings do, you have the freedom to buy the diamond elsewhere if you can
find a better deal. The ring jeweler will discourage you, certainly, but you
may manage to save enough to overcome any penalty he may want to apply.
Note About
Guy’s Rings: Rings for gays is not traditionally so expensive or elaborate. A
simple gold band will satisfy most. As a result, the issues about shopping for
diamonds, financing and most of the other concerns are deleted. A plain gold
band costs just a few hundred dollars. Just does not forget to pay off the
credit card before the wedding!
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